Asshole Songs

I like playlists. They make it so easy for me to play only the songs that I'm really in the mood to hear. My copy of Windows Media Player is full of playlists, and I rely on them a lot - especially the "recently added" section that WNP creates for me by default.

Sometimes, I just feel like an asshole. Not in the "I kick kittens" sense, but in the "I'm the greatest ever" sense. We all feel this way sometimes, and what better way to embrace the inner jerk than to celebrate with appropriate songs? I like my "asshole songs" playlist when I'm at the online-poker table, and when I'm writing. These are two things that I do very well - so, sometimes, I have a bit of an ego about it.

However, I should mention here that online poker and writing are both private things. I don't use the poker table's chat box to tell everybody else how awesome I am, and I certainly don't write essays about my greatness. But when I'm alone in my room, doing my thing with one or the other, I'm all about the ego.

The playlist includes a lot of rap, because rappers are pretty good at telling the world how awesome they are. Songs like Bow Wow's "Fresh AZIMIZ" and Ludacris' "Blow It Out" are perfect examples. So are 50 Cent's "If I Can't" and Jay-Z's "Dirt Off Your Shoulder." And for a little bit of comic relief, while still giving my inner jerk some breathing room, I included Insane Clown Posse's "I Stab People."

Actually, most of the playlist is rap, which isn't surprising considering the nature of the genre.

Merry Christmas, Everybody

There won't be a Christmas-day post - we all have better things to do, one hopes.

Be sure to ask Santa to bring you a good pair of headphones if you don't already own them. Personally, I despise earbuds (they hurt after about half an hour). I have a pair of over-the-ear, noise-canceling headphones. Sony electronics haven't impressed me much in the last several years, but these headphones are the exception. Good stuff, and well worth the fifty-odd bucks stores ask for them.

But if Santa brought me a pair of wireless headphones that worked with my MP3 player, I wouldn't complain one stinking bit.

Christmas Carols

Even though the retail and radio worlds begin shoving Christmas carols into our ear holes before Thanksgiving dinner is eaten, I prefer enjoying holiday-themed music closer to Christmas. I just don't want to listen to my holiday songs in November. That's not the Christmas season as far as I'm concerned.

Then again: I have an unusual taste in holiday music. When Christmas Day draws near, I put on Bob Rivers albums. "Chipmunks Roasting on an Open Fire" is my favorite so far. I also like most of the tracks on "Twisted Christmas" - especially "Wreck the Malls" and "We Wish You Weren't Living With Us." Yes, they're parodies of regular carols. And yes, I normally dislike parodies. But Bob Rivers and his merry band of miscreants are hilarious.

So I play these albums, have a good laugh, and greet Christmas with a big grin, because the holiday is not, if you ask me, a somber occasion. It's supposed to be fun and cheerful, and Bob Rivers makes that possible.

"House" Theme Song

I love watching "House" for various reasons. The soundtrack is not the least of them. If you've ever wondered about the theme song, that's a song by Massive Attack. You can find this track on "Mezzanine." When you listen, you're going to notice that the actual song is quite a bit longer. As is so often the case, TV-show producers chop out big chunks of songs - otherwise, the intro would take, you know, forever, and that would just tick us off because we care about the actual program a lot more than the intro.

You might actually like "Mezzanine." It's not, overall, a bad album. However, you'd be doing well to pick up the "House" soundtrack. Either one should satisfy your desire to indulge in the introductory music/theme song, and the TV soundtrack album gives you other cuts that you'll recognize from the show.

Tuning Drums - The Easy Way

If you despise tuning your drums by ear - or if you, like me, just aren't so great at it - there's hope. Go to the local music store and ask the employee in the percussion section for a drum dial. Also called a tuning dial, this nifty little gadget will cost fewer than eighty dollars, but will save you a lifetime of frustration and annoyance.

This dial is very simple to use, and guarantees a well-tuned, awesome-sounding drum. Even if you're great at tuning by ear, this is worth a try because you just might get even-better results.

Don't forget a wicked-looking drum key while you're shopping.

Confessions of a Music Addict

Shh. Don't tell anybody, but I have some secrets about music. Shh. Let's keep this between us, okay?

* I despise Kanye West's music, but part of that's because he's a self-absorbed twit who plays the race card in entirely-inappropriate situations. Like during the post-Katrina charity spot that he did for TV. Jerk.

* Everybody who knows me well, knows that I'm a Phil Collins/Genesis fan. The dude plays a mean drum kit, man. If it weren't for those crazy skills, I wouldn't listen. But I do. Because you just can't argue with the guy's talent.

* I own, and enjoy, a Northern State album ("Dying in Stereo").

* When my parents, during The Eagles' "Hell Freezes Over" tour, left me at home to babysit instead of taking me, I was more ticked about them showing up too late to see, and report on, Melissa Etheridge's opening act than I was about missing The Eagles. That's kind of sad, when you think about it.

Shows I'd Like to Catch (DFW Area)

Of all the shows coming to DFW in the next few weeks or so, I'm interested in only a handful. But they're sure to be really great shows, so I'm sorry that I'll probably have to miss them. (A combination of lack of funds and having other obligations those nights.)

Dec. 6
Buckcherry, Drowning Pool and Hinder at Nokia Theatre.

Jan. 23
AC/DC at AAC.

P.S. Ticket scalping is legal here in Texas (save, notably, for Arlington - can't scalp Texas Rangers tix there, it seems), so have fun trying to get your hands on the AC/DC tix through a reseller if you can't get them from the box office before they sell out.